The Heart of Horsemanship: Building Connection Before Training
If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you know that I believe a relationship with a horse should be built on a deep heart connection. Before we introduce traditional training methods, we must first take the time to bond with the horse—shaping his character and attitude so that he moves in harmony with us. My focus is on building a personal connection and demonstrating leadership in a way that creates a “magical” partnership between horse and rider.
This magic happens when the horse instinctively understands our intentions, responding without hesitation or confusion. In this state of unity, the partnership mirrors the effortless flow of horses running together in a free-moving herd. Such a connection brings a sense of well-being to both horse and human. Without enthusiasm, a horse is unlikely to give an exceptional performance—whether on the ground, under saddle, or in competition. However, this enthusiasm can be nurtured long before introducing tack or structured training. Establishing behavioral expectations helps a horse take responsibility for his own conduct while also igniting his eagerness to learn.
To truly understand this, we need to look at how horses naturally operate.
The Herd as Nature’s Teacher
Horses are herd animals by nature. From birth, they are shaped by their mothers and, later, by social interactions within the herd. This process is essential for their full development and well-being, helping them integrate into the complex social order of equine life. Domesticated horses, however, often miss out on this vital education, as they are separated from natural herd dynamics. Without this experience, some horses develop extreme personalities—either overly dominant or excessively timid—struggling to find their place. Since we are the ones who domesticated the horse, it becomes our responsibility to fill this gap and help shape his character.
In the wild, equine personalities range from submissive to dominant, but at the top of the hierarchy, we find the true leaders—one male and one female—whom the rest of the herd follows and respects. A horse’s strongest instinct is to follow a leader, but in the absence of clear leadership, he will naturally attempt to take on that role himself.
Every horse is an individual and should be approached accordingly. Submissive horses need their confidence nurtured, while dominant horses must learn respect and good manners without suppressing their natural assertiveness. The goal is not to diminish a dominant horse’s spirit but to shape his behavior so that he interacts harmoniously with humans.
Lead horses, on the other hand, often require little or no shaping. As the natural caretakers of the herd, they possess strong social skills and a willingness to fit in. Working with them is usually a pleasure, as they actively seek a purpose and respond well to respectful handling.
The Impact of Training Methods
Regardless of personality type, all horses react similarly to human aggression. If given space, their instinct is flight; if cornered, they first defend themselves, then, if escape is impossible, they submit. Unfortunately, this kind of forced submission is often mistaken for successful training—especially in round pen scenarios. However, such experiences can profoundly and negatively impact a horse’s nature, affecting both his behavior and performance.
Harsh reprimands sever the connection between horse and rider. When this happens, training should pause so the bond can be reestablished. After all, the very word "dressage" means to train a horse through moments of harmonious connection. Tools like whips and spurs disrupt this harmony rather than enhance it. A horse that can feel the touch of a fly certainly does not require forceful aids. True connection—what I call stepping into the magic—comes from communication so subtle and lighthearted that it feels like a dance.
By shaping a horse’s character to align with us, training and performance become effortless, a seamless partnership rather than a battle of wills. And in that space of trust and mutual understanding, the true magic of horsemanship is found.
May the spirit of the horse be with you,
Carolyn Resnick
