Unlocking Connection: Start With What’s Working

One of the most powerful shifts you can make in your horsemanship is learning to recognize your "entry point of connection."

Sometimes, when things feel difficult, we jump to the conclusion that our horse is too much for us, that he doesn’t like us, or that maybe it’s just not a good match. The truth is, that line of thinking comes from being in “trainer’s mind”,  focusing on the problems and what isn’t working.

But horses don’t thrive in that space. They thrive when we come with authenticity and presence, ready to notice what is working.

I once had a student who walked into the paddock every day feeling rejected by her horse. “He doesn’t want anything to do with me,” she told me. “I think he just doesn’t like me.”

Instead of asking her to push through, I guided her to notice the small moments of openness,  a flick of an ear, a soft glance, the way her horse shifted slightly toward her when she arrived. These were her horse’s way of offering an entry point of connection.

The Entry Point of Connection is found when your leadership approach causes a horse to respond to you with grace and ease. It is the single thing that is easiest for your horse to do, that you know is safe to ask, and that your horse would be receptive to in that moment.

When you ask yourself, “What can I ask my horse to do that he would respond positively to?” your answer becomes your guide. It allows you to focus on the yes that your horse is already offering and to choose the safest, most effective path forward.

When my student started responding to these subtle “yeses,” everything began to change. Her horse’s resistance dissolved almost on its own. He became more willing as he saw her as a fair, trustworthy leader,  someone he wanted to follow and connect with.

Every moment you are with your horse, there is an entry point of connection waiting for you. The key is to shift out of trainer’s mind and into authenticity, to work with what’s working.

By honoring the yes your horse is already giving, the problems you were once fixated on often disappear. Your horse will not only meet you, he/she will want to.

Nancy Zintsmaster

P.S.- If you want to explore how to connect more deeply with your horse and experience true partnership, check out our academy to learn the methods and tools that will help you work with your horse at liberty and guide transformation with confidence.